my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
