"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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