I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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