My room smells like vodka and shame
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you would pick up someone in the library
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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