i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
