I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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