hotel room ftw
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
