is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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