spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
