I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
