My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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