that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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