His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
