Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
