Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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