are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
