You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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