I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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