i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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