she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
