just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
