Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
