my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
