He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
