I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
