She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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