"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
