I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
