..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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