i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
