Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize