Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
