Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
