my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize