I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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