All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So vagazzling was a success
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
