Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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