I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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