This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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