I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize