worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
