Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
