Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(812): View more from Indiana

Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(786): View more from Florida

He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum

(763): View more from Minnesota

And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world

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