don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it