Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
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i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
its like you know when i get waxed