Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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  (617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8
  Replies (33) Good night (886) Bad night (3628)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2979) Bad night (910)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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  (219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili
  Replies (10) Good night (1209) Bad night (7146)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (803) Bad night (4712)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

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  (248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/6oxt
  Replies (17) Good night (4365) Bad night (1350)
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  (510): View more from California

  no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

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  (510): no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her. http://tfl.nu/kcyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5148) Bad night (1380)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.

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  (248): We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod. http://tfl.nu/ciwq
  Replies (3) Good night (2220) Bad night (1647)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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  (509): And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid http://tfl.nu/oqc1
  Replies (9) Good night (3636) Bad night (850)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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  (310): Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide http://tfl.nu/450d
  Replies (7) Good night (2563) Bad night (742)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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  (410): You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days http://tfl.nu/jiwq
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (1512)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.

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  (412): Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant. http://tfl.nu/1w7r
  Replies (16) Good night (1551) Bad night (1073)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.

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  (+44): So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went. http://tfl.nu/a2g3
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (1032)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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  (617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn
  Replies (1) Good night (1498) Bad night (727)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward

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  (908): he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward http://tfl.nu/i7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1574) Bad night (757)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing

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  (336): So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing http://tfl.nu/2fy2
  Replies (10) Good night (1475) Bad night (611)

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