This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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