Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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(406): View more from Montana

I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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(661): View more from California

Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia

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(574): View more from Indiana

We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents

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