I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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