So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
