She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
