Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
