i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
