hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
