i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
