As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
