Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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