he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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