the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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