This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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