It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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