You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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