I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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