clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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