My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize