Sponge bath it is.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
