I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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