Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
